The art of trying

"It is the desire to walk that creates the path ahead; however, when we set off on the journey towards our dream, we feel very afraid, as if we had to get everything right first time. But, given that we all live different lives, who decided what ‘getting everything right’ means? It doesn’t matter what other people think, because they’re going to think something anyway."

Updates ..

Wow, it has been a long time since my last update. Finally, I’m going to post a series of things with updates from the last few months.

Fantastic news in late January. “Congratulations, you’re going to have a baby!” It’s one of the most exciting times in a woman’s life and joyous experiences I will ever have. I can’t wait to share my joyous news to my close friends, but my gynae advised to stay quiet until 3 months. Anyway, I spent the first three months of my pregnancy over a toilet and unable to eat well, due to “morning sickness”. There are a few women out there in this world who sail through their pregnancy without so much of glimpse of queasiness but I have no such luck. Fortunately, I felt tremendously better by week 14-16. To me, pregnancy is an amazing journey. Each month brings unique changes for me and my baby’s growth and development. How time flies and my tummy grows!

Gratitude. Back to work in late April after two months break. I owe infinite gratitude to my company which I currently working with. When I found myself expecting, a bit embarrassed to announce the news to my immediate boss as I just started the job less than two months. I was mulling over resigning from the job but have been advised to take leave for rest. Thankful for their understanding and tolerance while I battled with morning sickness. I really appreciated the opportunity.

Soreness. A girlfriend of mine passed away peacefully sometime in June due to cancer. It is not an easy thing to accept a person’s death, especially someone who you close with. A bit regretful that I didn’t spend much time with her. To be frank, she was so brave fighting the cancer. Her determination comforted those around who loved her. I believed that the determination she showed during that fight was one of the qualities her friends and families will never forget about her.

Wonderful. I did a 4D ultrasound scan in my 31 week at TMC. The ultrasound truly captured my baby girl’s appearance. The video clips showing different activities and movements of the baby inside the womb. I saw her sucked her fingers and yawned. I watch the video clips again and again. So cute.. I love her.

Nervousness. How time flies and my tummy grows! I am preparing to deliver, as my baby is due in three weeks time from now. Getting nervous about the delivery but I am looking forward to meeting my baby.

Unforgettable Christmas

Christmas is coming and the bells begin to ring. In western countries, the Christmas season liturgically begins on Christmas Eve. It is a time of family gathering and reconciliation. Well, for me, there was a lively remembrance on Christmas Eve.

I remember my first visit to Cambodia in year 2001, around Christmas season. Most people in Cambodia are Buddhists. So this means that Christmas is not really celebrated there. Therefore, it was a simple quiet Christmas for me. But, I was stayed up all night with something thrilling on Christmas Eve and it has marked an unforgettable experience to me. Just before midnight, suddenly several gunshots rang out in quick succession, were heard at somewhere nearby our residence. It was an extremely loud bang, waking up with my heart racing. We were startled by the sound of the gunshots. Each of us dare not to let go of our hold on the blanket and turned our head toward the window to see what had happened. My eyes wild with fear and began tugging frantically at the blanket. At that moment, I miss home a lot.

Well, it was not something excited to remember but something that makes me felt an immense gratitude on how lucky to stay in a peaceful place. This incident never turned me off and my passion for Cambodia stayed for years, though the first visit really took my breath away.

我是海鸥

也许对明天有点紧张，所以我想起了海鸥。你知道吗？海鸥对各种环境都有非凡的适应能力。有一本书，李查．巴哈的作品《天地一沙鸥》，描写海鸥逆风飞翔，立志迎向目标的奋斗事迹，海鸥义无反顾的忍受着一次次失败与创伤所带来的痛苦，专心致志的学习飞翔，读了令我感动。也有一首耳熟能详的歌曲《海鸥》，哼起来也有种叫人奋起向上的感想。[海鸥飞在，蓝蓝海上，不怕狂风巨浪。挥着翅膀，看着远方，不会迷失方向。飞的越高，看的越远，它在找寻理想。我愿像海鸥一样，那么勇敢坚强。] 海鸥不怕狂风巨浪的精神很令人钦佩。

敷上补充元气的红参面膜，把思绪整理清楚，明天我就是海鸥，要在蔚然的天空里飞翔。

起点

每个人对“起点”的定义不同。有人认为那是挫败以后重新开始，有人认为那是失落后重新出发。而我凭着一颗崭新的心境，迎接一个承载着许许多多新的希望与梦想的起点。来临的周一，我即将踏上全新的起跑点。纵然心里还是有一些些的忧虑，能否胜任新的任务，能否适应新的工作环境，能否和新同事们一拍即合?!?! 老公说：“人生嘛，就是不断地适应新的生活。Just do your best!”也许接下来的日子我未必得意，但决不会气馁。我想，人若是拥有重来的勇气，那么就没有所谓的害怕前进。

黯然惜别

因为时间太容易流逝，光阴经不起等待，岁月耐不住蹉跎，我选择告别“大理石大夏”。六年半的情怀，就在今天画下美丽的句点。从此以后，在8:10AM的巴士，在大厅的lounge, 在一楼的健身室，在二楼的休息间，在三楼的会议室，将不会有我的身影。我会怀念, 同事们给我的感动和照顾。我会怀念, 同事们待我的真诚。我怀念的是我用心经历的一切。

今晚的情绪很复杂，离别之情犹如徐志摩对康桥的无限眷恋和依依惜别的心情。

《再别康桥》
作者: 徐志摩

轻轻的我走了， 正如我轻轻的来； 我轻轻的招手， 作别西天的云彩。
那河畔的金柳， 是夕阳中的新娘； 波光里的艳影， 在我的心头荡漾。
软泥上的青荇， 油油的在水底招摇； 在康河的柔波里， 我甘心做一条水草 那树荫下的一潭， 不是清泉，是天上虹； 揉碎在浮藻间， 沉淀着彩虹似的梦。
寻梦？撑一支长篙， 向青草更青处漫溯； 满载一船星辉， 在星辉斑斓里放歌。
但我不能放歌， 悄悄是别离的笙箫； 夏虫也为我沉默， 沉默是今晚的康桥！
悄悄的我走了， 正如我悄悄的来； 我挥一挥衣袖， 不带走一片云彩。

至少还活着

有人说，人生宛如一场戏，但从来没有彩排，每一天都是现场直播。
有人说，人生宛如一场梦，真真假假，喜怒哀乐，一切都是虚幻。
有人说，人生宛如一场竞赛，为了脱颖而出，人们的步履总显匆忙。
有人说，人生宛如一次远航，为了寻找航向，终日乘风破浪。
有人说，人生宛如一本书，自己是作者，每一天都在写故事。有的人写下的是令人百读不厌的世界名著；有的人写下的是让人回味无穷的小品；有的人写下的是曲折动人的故事；有的人写下的是枯燥乏味的小说..

我想，不管人生是什么，只要认认真真地生活过，诚心诚意地付出过，勇敢地爱过，努力地拼搏过，不去在乎得到多少，失掉多少，而在奋斗的过程中有所体悟，那么，这样的人生也蛮精彩。

圣奥古斯丁曾说过：“一个人可以祈求奇迹的出现，但是最终还得靠努力来取得成果。”

但愿每一个人都能拥有无悔的人生。